


5 Times Hank Acted Like The Millennial He Is

by Pearl09



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor is a confused bean, Gen, Hank confuses him, Mild Language, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Rating for Language, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, hank is a millennial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 09:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15264027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearl09/pseuds/Pearl09
Summary: ... and Connor being confused by him





	5 Times Hank Acted Like The Millennial He Is

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writing_and_fighting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_and_fighting/gifts).



> I was inspired to write this because of this post  
> http://aartyom.tumblr.com/post/174894732493/excuse-me-everyone-i-have-something-to-say
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

1

After the android revolution was a success, Hank decided to stay in Detroit. After all, most of the androids were there, and he couldn’t just leave Connor, as much as he hates to admit it.

When he asked Connor to meet him at the food truck, he didn’t know what he was going to say. But he does now. He turns and sees Connor walking towards him, and they stare at each other for a few seconds. Then they each go in for a hug, glad the other is okay after everything that happened.

Hank pulls away, but keeps his hand on Connor’s shoulder. “Come back to the house with me. There’s some empty rooms, and I’m sure Sumo wouldn’t mind.”

Connor looks at him. “Lieutenant?” He asks, confused.

Hank sighs. “Oh for fucks sake, Connor, I’m saying there’s an empty room and you can come live in it.”

Connor’s eyes light up, and he smiles. “Really?”

Hank rolls his eyes. “Don’t you fuckin look at me like that, or I might change my mind.”

He leads Connor to his car, and they both get in and take it back to Hank’s house. Hank unlocks the front door and Sumo immediately comes running down the hall. Connor crouches and lets Sumo run right into his arms, who then immediately starts to lick his face.

“Come find me when you’re done coddling - I mean cuddling the dog, Connor.”

Hank walks down the hall and opens one of the doors, entering the dark room. He switches on the light, and sees that there is junk everywhere. He picks the trash up before Connor makes it to the room, but doesn’t bother with anything else.

“Lieutenant?” Connor asks from the hall.

“I’m in here.”

Connor enters the room and looks around, amazed to be able to call something his for once. “This is all for me?”

Hank nods. “Sorry it’s a mess, no one’s been in here in a while. If something’s in your way, just yeet it into the closet.”

Connor’s face immediately fills with confusion. “I’m sorry, can you repeat what you just said?”

Hank sighs and picks a shirt up from the floor. “I said, if something’s in your way, just fucking yeet it into the closet.” As he says this, he throws the old shirt into the closet.

Connor nods. “So throw it into the closet. Got it.”

“Did I say fucking throw? No. I said yeet. Damn, I'm gonna need a drink.”

Hank walks out of the room, leaving a confused Connor to stare after him, wondering why yeet was so important.  
~~~~~  
2

Hank and Connor start work at the police station again, solving crimes together. After one particular investigation of a missing person is finished, Connor finally asks the question that had been on his mind. 

“Lieutenant, can I ask a question?”

“Go ahead, Connor.”

“Why did you change your mind about androids?”

Hank sighs. “Jesus Christ, I shouldn’t have said yes. How about we go with, there’s a lot more to me than you’d think.”

Connor looks confused, which is starting to become normal. “What do you mean?”

“I’m like an onion. Onions have layers. I have layers. You get me?”

“No.”

Hank sighs. “Just leave me alone, Connor.”

It’s quiet for a few minutes, until Connor speaks up again.

“Why onions? There are lots of things that have layers. Are you saying onions specifically because you relate to them more than just having layers?”

Hank bangs his head on his desk. “Fuck, no, Connor. I was just quoting an old movie. How about we just forget this whole thing?”

Connor nods. “Whatever you say, Lieutenant.”  
~~~~~  
3

Hank and Connor managed to arrest a suspect in another case recently, and they needed to question him.

“Connor, get me the case file.” Hank stares through the one way glass at the suspect as Connor goes to find the file.

“Here it is, Lieutenant.” Connor hands it to him as he re enters the room.

“Okay Connor, come in with me, but let me do the talking.”

They enter the room together and close the door behind them. Hank takes the other chair at the table, and Connor stands against the wall behind him. 

“So. You haven’t said a word since we arrested you. Usually, that means you’re guilty. Of what, I’m sure we’ll find out. Now, we are looking into a robbery case. This nice family comes home to find their home broken into, and all of their valuables stolen. Admit to stealing these things, and we can end this quickly.” He puts the file on the table and slides it over to the suspect, who ignores it and keeps his eyes trained on the wall next to Connor.

Hank waits for a minute, but the man still won’t say anything, or even look down at the file. Now he’s agitated. “I’m gonna throw a guess out here. Is your name Jared, huh? You can’t fucking read?”

Connor steps into the one sided conversation. “Actually, his name is Mark. And I do believe that everyone knows how to read, it’s just matter of which language.

Hank puts his hand on his forehead and runs his hand through his hair. “I had a feeling his name wasn’t Jared, Connor. I was just – quoting something. Forget it. We’ll come back later, when this ass can’t take just sitting around anymore.”

With that, Connor and Hank leave the room, and Connor wonders if he should look up what Hank was quoting, or just leave it alone.  
~~~~~  
4

“Connor!” Hanks voice rings out through the house, trying to find wherever Connor had disappeared to.

Connor untangles his arms from Sumo and stands, going to find Hank. “Lieutenant?” he asks as he enters the kitchen.

Hank turns around to look at Connor and points to the dishwasher. “This fucking piece of shit won’t start.”

Connor moves to the dishwasher and crouches, staring at it for an uncomfortable amount of time. Finally, he stands. “There is a broken part. I have ordered a new piece, it should be here tomorrow.”

Hank throws his hands up in the air. “But what am I supposed to do about the dishes?”

“May I suggest washing them by hand?”

Hank sighs and sits at the kitchen table. “Great. I guess I’ll just fucking die then.”

A look of panic crosses Connor’s face. “This does not call for something that extreme, Lieutenant! Having to wash the dishes by hand should not cause you to want to kill yourself.”

Hank puts his head on the table and mumbles, “No, Connor. Fuck. I’m not gonna kill myself, okay? Go ahead and go back to whatever you were doing, I’ll fucking wash the dishes.”

Hank gets up and starts to empty the dishwasher again, leaving Connor to wonder why he would say something like that if he didn’t mean it.  
~~~~~  
5

Connor and Hank had a day off for once, after solving a particularly tough case. The house was running low on food, so Hank decided it was time to go grocery shopping, and brought Connor with him. 

“Anything you want from the store while we’re out, Connor?”

The car fills with silence as Connor thinks. “Some dog toys for Sumo, maybe?”

Hank sighs. “Why the fuck did I expect you to say something different.” He pulls into the parking lot of the store and steps out. 

“Is there anything in particular you want, Lieutenant?”

Hank thinks about it as they enter the store. Connor grabs a cart and starts to push it.

“There is something I haven’t heard of in a long time. I think it died out a while back.”

Intrigued, Connor asks, “What is it?”

Hanks lips twitch with amusement. “I think it was called Fre Sha Vaca Do.”

“Well, I will make sure to keep an eye out for it then.”

Hank holds back a laugh as the two of them go through the store, filling the cart with various things. They go through the checkout and pay, and Connor helps Hank carry all the bags back to the car. They put them in the trunk, and then get back into the car.

As Hank is starting the car, he notices that Connor looks upset. “Connor, what’s wrong? We got your fucking dog toys.”

“But we didn’t find your Fre Sha Vaca Do.”

This time, Hank can’t hold back his laugh. As he laughs, Connor looks at him, confused. “It’s okay, Connor. I don’t think it ever really existed in the first place.”

“Then why did you want it?”

Hank pulls the car out of the grocery store and back onto the road before answering. “I haven’t met someone who didn’t fucking know about Fre Sha Vaca Do in years. It’s fun messing around with people who haven’t heard of it.”

Connor’s look of confusion turns to one of understanding. “Were you quoting something old again?”

Hank nods. “Yeah. I was.”

Connor decides he will not look up any of Hank’s quotes, so that he does not understand them before hand and he can keep making Hank happy.


End file.
